I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
