Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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