Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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