i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
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He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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