ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
