the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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