Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I think I just sharted jello shots
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
