Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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