..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
