i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
as a side note pls kill me
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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