I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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