i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
