You don't have asthma, your pregnant
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
