I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize