didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
