Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
