That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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