she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
