tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My feet surprised me
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
