tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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