Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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