Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
