Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
