you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
