suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I just want nice things and good sex
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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