his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
