Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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