Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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