My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
