adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
