somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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