And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
