he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
