I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
