I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You're a waste of cheezeits
I AM VODKA MAN
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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