You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
