it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
