I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
