I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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