Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
