I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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