we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
