Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize