this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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