Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Randomize
