Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
