their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
