She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
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I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
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I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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