I will die if light touches me.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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