what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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