I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
