Your tits are I can't wait for
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
