i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Such a big mess for such a small penis
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
