I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
