I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Life is so much better after having sex.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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