if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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