My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My hand turned me down
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
