just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
The power of my boobs compel you
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
