let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
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