it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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