Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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